may 2021
(i)
...there is something deeply exquisite in death
in apples rotting in the next room
the smell sticking to existence
to nosegays that mask the scent
of a universe in extremis
fate finally stripped from the human heart
this fascination for absolutes
for an ego nobody wants
or needs, or sees
this exquisite freedom
to leave a failing cosmos
and never return
to have death taped over your mouth
trapping your last words
that smell coming from the next room
those apples, those absolutes
rotting the universe
this cold fascination for darkness
for these black steps
leading down into the heart...
(ii)
...the centre of this fire
is where the earth’s purple shadows
stain my eyes, even my skin
with their ballads, their rosaries
their inexplicable sonnets - all of which
I am clearly not meant to understand
and yet the urge is primeval
I must push back on what is coming
my soul’s slow dismemberment
these saffron eyes, these flaking toenails
this incandescent sleep
where the earth’s purple shadows
play over my face
giving to fire its hypnotic colour
its need to dismember
the endless zeros
the endless sonnets
circumferenced like a necklace
about the galaxy’s heart
my birthplace, my home
where once I was set down
reclusive among the stars...
(iii)
…who are you who watches and waits
are you a god, an aspiration
or a devotee
guard or inmate
or just someone lost in a free world
dangling from the edge of a dream
but I know you
because you have stalked the earth
unseen for millions of years
you are the inconspicuous leviathan
the hooded reptile
that lies inanimate among the rocks
you are, for sure, a snake
smouldering with revelations
hunger with a flicking tongue
this conscience marooned on a planet
you are the eye that scans
counting each and every footfall
each and every blink of every star
as you wait yearning for your god to exist...