september 2020
(i)
...there are the outer fires and the inner fires
moments of clairvoyant rage
in which the gods of nothingness
feed their endless hunger through my soul
their thirst down into my endless bones
and this ash that rises
these words that blister the skin
they are, I suppose, a sort of emancipation
an emptiness, an omertà
that nails tongues to the ground
to this endless, infernal hunger
which has tried and tried
to eat its way through to the truth
to that clairvoyant mask
lurking in the earth’s greasy shadow
its flames merging
its ash spinning
simply because I am endless
because I am someone
who has already been burning
for millions of years...
(ii)
...what is this exotic mastery
which always seems to need its x’s and its y’s
its unconscionable light-years
its spirals branded onto our cheeks
is it simply a mystic migraine
bending space
filling every corner of every breathable world
with outright dominance
or is it something else
an inaccessible mastery
a rogue universe perhaps
its x’s eating all sentient life
its y’s tracing out these spirals
these exotic vows
that promise when a stream of light
is again made solid
and the breathless, insane immensity of all things
transmutes back
into a gleam of fire
back into this cosmic migraine
then will our pain finally master the truth...
(iii)
...every day I hang off the face of a mountain
waiting for wings
waiting for my bones to grow hollow
it is these winds, these howling noises
they carry a dangerous meaning
they sob and greet directly into my blood
this strange, ominous love
whispering ‘you have merely trespassed
your way all through life
flight is now the only freedom you have left’
far below I see the rivers glisten
like ribbons of unearthly silver
the frayed ends of fate
and in the blinding distance the oceans
strewn with discarded souls and gods
eating the air
suddenly the mountains stand
and lift my wings
the helpless moment has come
my raven claws release their grip
and I rise and rise
an unwanted trespasser no more...